MLT Tribune

Maybe I should leave...it is time for a change

2008-02-22T10:11:00.008+08:00

Yesterday I had a terrible lesson with one of my classes. After that it really set me thinking about what I should be doing and if I am truly enjoying what I am doing now.

Ever since I came back to work after my leave, I have been so busy that it has taken away time from my little one. After a day's work, I go back home and try to spend the rest of the day playing with her, talking to her, basically interacting with her so that she still remembers me as her mother. Sometimes, it breaks my heart to observe that she has no separation anxiety. When I leave for work and when I get back home, it does not make a difference to her. It is as if I do not exist in her life. Now, even an occasional slight smile from her when she sees me is enough because most of the days she does not even look at me.

I would have felt better if things are doing great at work. However, the greatest disappointment has dawned on me that all the sacrifices I have made are in vain. Back at work, students do not even appreciate the things I have been doing for them. Really, I have been asking myself why I even bother to get down to work after Veralyn goes to bed at 10pm, even when I am so tired I cannot even pry my eyes open. Am I supposed to be a clown in class, entertaining my students and making sure that they are fully entertained so that they can be continually interested in what I am teaching? I cannot convince myself that my role as a teacher has degraded to such a state. Yes, so I am not a good teacher. Does this admission make you happy?

I do not even have time to entertain my precious little one and yet I have to entertain the kids of other parents. Is this truly what I have to do as a teacher? Am I being fair to my child then? There is absolutely no point explaining to these students the sacrifices that their teachers are making to make sure that their learning take place in school. They do not even bother to understand the hard work their parents are putting in just to make their life easier. I mean NOTHING to them.

The fire in me is burning out. I think it is time for me to evaluate what I am doing now. Is it alll worth it? At this point of time in my life, I should be spending time with my little one, watching her grow up since she only grows up once in her lifetime and yet I am wasting my time on people who are not appreciative of me as a person. Why am I making such a huge sacrifice for a worthless cause?

Perhaps it is time I leave for a greener pasture where I can be appreciated and truly happy.

What's up Momma?

2007-11-14T09:12:00.000+08:00

It has been such a looooong while since I last updated this blog. How is everyone doing? :)

Yes I know there are NO updates since Veralyn was born but hey, motherhood is real tough. Some days I am really not in the mood to update anything. Veralyn has not exactly been an easy baby. She is 4 months now but these four months have been quite traumatic, well at least for me it has been traumatic! She is a fussy baby so handling her has been quite tough. I have a gut feeling that she is going to a real tough cookie when she grows up! I would not be surprised if she wants to play soccer instead of dolls when she is older!

Oh yes, I am on a weight-loss mission! Sighs, pregnancy has done harm to my body. I have been whining about my body shape since I gave birth. When can I be thin like how I was before I gave birth? I do not want to be fat when I return to school next Jan!

The academic year is coming to an end already. How did everyone do? Although I am out of action in school, I am still in the thick of the things alright? :) I am sure there are people who miss me and some students who hope I will never teach them again! After being a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM) for these few months, I have mixed feelings about returning to work too. Sometimes I cannot wait to get away from my baby because of her wailing but on the other hand, going back to work would mean lesser time with her. Of course, not to mention that I do miss my mentees too :) Have all of you been missing me?

Ruixuan's 1st Shoutout!

2007-07-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

Hi "uncles" and "aunties"!

I am Zhang Rui Xuan, the little precious of Daddy Dixie and Mummy Lilian. I am one week old today! My first cry was in Thomson Medical Centre on July 10 2007 at 0001hr. Daddy and Mummy say that I am a newborn with a mind of my own already because I chose my own birthdate by coming out only 1 minute after midnight :)

Hmm, Daddy and Mummy cannot decide what English name to give me. They have been debating over it ever since I was in Mummy's tummy. They would like me to have a beautiful and meaningful name. Can you help me choose my name? You can vote for your favourite choice at my blog. Yes, so cool ya? I am a newborn with my own blog, all thanks to my very enthusiastic and loving Daddy!

Just click on the title of this post to see me! :)

Love
Ruixuan

Waiting To Pop!

2007-06-27T21:20:00.000+08:00

Most of you have noticed the enormous bump now! Yeap, I am about to pop in about 3+ weeks. My girl is due in mid to late July so it is really about time already. I am now about 9 months pregnant.

Many people have been asking me what I am going to name my girl but honestly, I am quite at a loss. At the end of the day, I may not want to give her an English name. Perhaps I shall give her the liberty to choose her name when she gets older.

Oh yes, Mrs Vain Teo (yes, that is me) went to take pictures of her tummy during the holidays. I shall share one of them :) Others are too x-rated; students are too young to see them! Hmm it does seem that my tummy was smaller then. I think my girl is grabbing every opportunity to put on as much weight as she can within these couple of weeks. Well, I just want her to be healthy. For now, I just have to suffer the pain of my inflammed joints and my not-very-desirable looks :(

I hope that during my absence, my mentees will behave themselves and not get so many cards. I will update about my girl when I can and keep in touch with my students through my blog.

Await my news, my dearest students!

Updates

2007-05-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

It has been such a long while since I updated my blog. Well, pregnancy is quite tiring. Most of the days when I get home, I just want to do nothing, sit in front of the television and stone.

This is the 31st week of my pregnancy. It is about 8+ more weeks to her birth. Gee, I think when school reopens end June, I would really look like a whale!!!! Gosh, that is one scary thought. Oh yes, did I mention that I am not going to call my newborn Deandre anymore? So many people have told me that it sounds nice but if people were to call her Dean in short, it sounds like "the-end" and honestly, I really do not think I want people to remember my daughter this way :( Thus, I have to look for another name for her. I have something in mind already but I shall keep it a little secret :P

As her birthday draws nearer, it also means that I will be going on my maternity leave very soon too. I can sooo imagine some of my students popping champagne and rejoicing over my absence. Well, I cannot say it makes me very happy thinking about that. In fact, it is something that pricks my heart sometimes. The fact that they celebrate my absence only points to one thing - that I am such an welcomed, perhaps even lousy teacher to them and that they cannot wait for me to leave. What would make it worse would be that upon my return, they tell me that they enjoyed the lessons of their relief teacher more than mine. I think that would be the ultimate killer.

Ok, I shall stop yakking about thoughts that have been weighing me down.

I hope to update my faithful readers aka students about my newborn and my life as a first-time mother. Hopefully, I have the time to take pictures of my little one and post it here as well!

Meanwhile, I am counting down to her hatch-day!

My Little Bump

2007-03-29T13:38:00.000+08:00

By now, most of you already know that I have a bump.

Yes, baby Deandre has been growing in my tummy for the past 6 months already. It will be the end of my 24th week tomorrow.

My hubby and I are probably going to name her Deandre, a name that means “strong and courageous”. The original spelling should be “Deandra” but my hubby’s English name starts with a “D and ends with an “E” so we decided to replace the “a” with “e”. Got it?

Here, I have to apologise and explain to my bowlers that I was actually prepared to go to Sunway Lagoon last December for the Milo Championship. However, my pregnancy was not stable then and thus, I was advised not to go on the trip by my gynaecologist (gynae, for short). I felt quite guilty about it. Uncle Mike knew the news before anyone of you did. Also, I had an important appointment with the gynae on the day they went for their CIP at MINDS so I could not go along too. I hope my bowlers do understand now why I was not with them. It is definitely not because I do not care about all of you.

I could not tell you the good news any earlier because I wanted to wait till I know the sex of the baby before I disclose the good news. So do pray and hope very hard for me that my little princess will grow healthily in my tummy for the next 3.5 months. I hope you are happy for me because my little one is coming, not because I will be away for 3 months.

Meanwhile, I just have to make do with an expanding body (which is making me very depressed!), poor appetite and water retention but the joy of Deandre kicking my tummy when Daddy reads to her at night makes it all worthwhile.

Teaching

2007-02-22T21:36:00.000+08:00

Yes my dear readers, it has been such a long while since I last updated my blog but......

Here I am again!

It has been a very busy start of the year for me so that explains why I have not been updating my blog. There are new challenges, new classes that I have to manage. So far, things are not exactly rosy all the time but yup there are good times, definitely :) I must say that I am deeply encouraged by the level of motivation of my mentees and for these 2 modules, I have been extremely proud of them. Please keep it up, bowlers! My mentees have also been updating me about their lives whenever they see me so it is a good sign that our relationship is still going strong. I have "announcements" for my mentees though so bowlers, watch this space :)

Speaking of motivation, I have to say that it has been an extremely uphill task for me to motivate some of my students. Honestly, sometimes I doubt my abilities to push the right button with my students. No matter what I do or say, the students remain unmoved and choose to continue to be unmotivated and unenthusiastic. What can I do? I know I am not the best teacher around but I do try my best to teach, to touch the hearts of my students. Alas, it does not seem to be happening.

On the other hand, I am also extremely heartened by the fact that some of the students I taught last year still remember me and they still chat with me when they see me along the corridors. Of course, there are some who ignore me even when we cross each other's path. I think that is very sad :( A simple hello will really make my day. That is all that I ask for. During the December holidays, I met my boys from my previous schools and man, they are going to report for NS soon! They have invited me to visit them during the Family Visit Day and I am going to try my best to make it. These are the kids whom I have gone through thick and thin with. They trusted me and shared their worst fears and secrets with me. Though we had our rocky times where I had to scold them to wake them up, they knew why I was doing it and never blamed me for it. In fact, our relationship became stronger. Two years have passed and I never fail to receive SMS messages from them on Teachers' Day. Occasionally, I chat with them over MSN when they are online to get the latest updates on their lives.

I ask myself if I will ever foster such strong ties with my students in SSS. It is still early to say but I really do hope that it will materialise. For me, teaching is only rewarding when students remember what I have done for them, not when they have achieved academic success.

Attitude

2006-11-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

What distinguishes between a good student and a mediocre one?

Many students act or behave the way they do because they believe so blindly in the negative opinions of others. The class name or number is merely a label. One is defeated not because he or she has failed but because of the self-fulfilling prophecy, in other words, self-belief, that he or she is the lousiest.

Truth be told, Mrs Teo was never from the best class. It is not something that I am very proud of but I take pride in who I am and what I am capable of, rather than what people THINK I am capable of, just because I was from the last class. When I was in Secondary Four, my class, which was the last during that year, took part in a Inter-class Debate. After all the preliminary rounds, the final two teams were revealed and my class was one of the teams. The other team was the best class. My teammates and I worked very, very hard to prepare for the final showdown. We were so bent on showing others what we were made of. We wanted to show the school that even though we were considered the lousiest students, we were capable of winning too.

No prizes for guessing correctly but yes, we WON the debate in style. I remember so vividly that victorious moment when the Principal presented the trophy to me. I realised at that point in time that I was on cloud nine not entirely because we won the best class but because I had proven to myself that I can be the best, IF I WANT TO, if I have the desire to succeed.

I took the road less travelled and went for the unconventional 3 yr Pre-U course instead of the usual 2 yr JC course because I wanted to make sure that I would get to university. I was not sure if I could handle the pace in JC so with my parents' encouragement, I took the slow but steady route to university. Yes I might have taken a year longer to secure my place in university but I still got there. Many of my friends who went to JC didnt even make it to university.

For sure, some of my students will tell me that I am just blogging this to "show off" and if that is really what you think then I am truly sad for you because it just means that you still not understand the moral of my personal story.

A good student, in my standards, points to one who is motivated and does not settle for second best. Aside from submitting punctual work and all, he or she is one who is not easily defeated by failures and has positive self belief. If you have tried but failed, you are still a good student to me.

So what is the difference?. The answer is only made up one word.

Attitude.

Weekly English Nuggets 18 Oct

2006-10-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered why flocks of birds fly in a V-shape formation?
Well, birds are pretty smart creatures, despite their bird-brained reputation. Flying in a 'V', you see, conserves energy, since each bird flies slightly above the bird in front of it in order to reduce wind resistance. The birds take turns flying upfront, falling back when they tire. Another reason for this formation is that it is easy to keep track of every bird in the group.

Read the rest of the issue here

Hurting Experience

2006-10-10T13:00:00.001+08:00

I had a terrible time in one of my classes last week and I am still very disappointed, sad and disillusioned by the experience.

It used to be one of my favourite classes because I would be so relaxed and happy during class, knowing that most of them would listen attentively. I viewed them as highly motivated students who had self discipline and I had such an enjoyable time teaching them.

Things slowly changed.

I am disappointed and angry.

I am disappointed because it is without a doubt that some of the students did not do the work given and that was despite the fact that I had reminded them I would be going through with them during that lesson. Some of them were chatting among themselves although they were already being punished.

I am angry because so many of them still think that it is my fault that I gave marching orders to those who are not interested in my lessons and there is no reason why I should be so angry. If they think that I was being unfair and unreasonable then who will be fair and reasonable to me? Have they ever thought of the times I still marked their assignments even though they handed so late? Have I ever issued cards to them because they failed to hand in their work?

Is it wrong to expect my students to do their work so I can go through with them? Is it then fair to me to be angry with me for something that they had not done right? Why am I condemned by my students who did not even do their part right?

What broke my heart was at the end of the lesson, one of my mentees flung the bag on her shoulders and stomped out of the class right in front of me angrily. She was one of those who was asked to stand because she did not complete her work. Why should she be angry with me when she did not do her work?

At the end of the day, it was the students who were not in my class who asked if I was alright instead and the students involved did not even utter a word to me.

No doubt my lessons are not the most interesting all the time but at least I can answer to myself that I have taken time to source for teaching materials and prepare notes when necessary. There is no reason why I should not be upset when my students do not complete their work. As a student, can you answer to yourself and say that you have tried your best as a student?

I think I have failed as a teacher and mentor because I have failed to even teach my students what respect and humility are. If they know what these two values truly represent, I would not be treated in this manner.

Weekly English Nuggets from 938live

2006-10-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

Which is correct --- We are please to inform ... : We are pleased to inform...
We are pleased to inform you that you have passed the test

Which is correct --- The Cafe is open from ..... : The Cafe is opened from ....
This often confuses people because 'open' and 'closed' don't seem to match. One (closed) ends in 'ed' and the other (open) doesn't. Thus we have: The shop is open from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm every day. It is closed for lunch from 1:00 pm to 2:00 pm.

How do you pronounce --- yacht, lingerie, demise?
'Yacht' is pronounced like 'lot' with a 'y' -- 'yot'.

'Lingerie' starts with 'lan' which is stressed. The rest rhymes with 'sherry' but the first sound is like the 'ge' sound in 'rouge'.

'Demise' starts with a sound similar to the first sound in 'demon' but it is not stressed. The second part, which is stressed, is similar to 'lies' but with 'm'.

Source: Regional Language Centre (RELC)

To read the full article, click on here

Reflections

2006-09-22T13:21:00.000+08:00

Recently I have been doing a lot of thinking on how my 2 classes have improved or deteriorated so far.

I am indeed very disappointed to observe that some of my students from one class seem to have slackened in their attitude towards English. I am not too sure why it has become so but it has certainly set me thinking on how things turned out that way. I am drifting away from them and it is not something I like. I know that some of them do not like my lessons anymore but I am not sad entirely because of that. I am sad because they do not see that I scold them because they have not done the homework that I have given them and that is why I have to scold them! It is very frustrating to know that they have so much potential but yet they are blinded by their complacency and are not doing all that they can to do well. It is sadder that they do not understand that it is because I love them that I have to be stricter with them so that they can maximise their full potential.

On the other hand, my other class has made vast improvements. As the class administrator, I spend a lot more time with them. I used to dread it when I was due for their class but now I am enjoying every minute of it because I need not shout like how I used to anymore. Though I still shout every lesson because they cannot keep quiet still, the shouting has lessened. In fact, I am very proud of them now because a lot of them submit work on time now.

I am deeply saddened by my observations because I am starting to feel that my kindness has been taken for granted. I trust all of you and still do. Please understand that Mrs Teo has nothing but your interests at heart.

You can make a difference in your grades if you want to!

My First Ever Post!

2006-08-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

Hi my dear students!

This is my very first post on my very first blog dedicated to my students, past and present! :)

In this blog, you will find little snippets about the happenings in my classes and of course, I will be posting interesting articles about Literature and English from time to time, though I seriously doubt anyone would even be remotely interested in these articles. Well, if you are protesting now because YOU are one of those remotely interested few, prove me wrong by discussing the content of these articles with me!

Eventually and most importantly, this is a space where I hope honest and true feelings will be exchanged. I hope to connect with many of your hearts so you will know me more as a teacher and a mentor. Sometimes, I seem cold, fierce or even unfeeling but it does not mean that I do not know or feel anything. Words do fail me despite the fact that I am a Language teacher :)

Why the blog name you may ask? Well, its Mrs Lilian Teo's Tribune!

There you have it :)