Hurting Experience
I had a terrible time in one of my classes last week and I am still very disappointed, sad and disillusioned by the experience.
It used to be one of my favourite classes because I would be so relaxed and happy during class, knowing that most of them would listen attentively. I viewed them as highly motivated students who had self discipline and I had such an enjoyable time teaching them.
Things slowly changed.
I am disappointed and angry.
I am disappointed because it is without a doubt that some of the students did not do the work given and that was despite the fact that I had reminded them I would be going through with them during that lesson. Some of them were chatting among themselves although they were already being punished.
I am angry because so many of them still think that it is my fault that I gave marching orders to those who are not interested in my lessons and there is no reason why I should be so angry. If they think that I was being unfair and unreasonable then who will be fair and reasonable to me? Have they ever thought of the times I still marked their assignments even though they handed so late? Have I ever issued cards to them because they failed to hand in their work?
Is it wrong to expect my students to do their work so I can go through with them? Is it then fair to me to be angry with me for something that they had not done right? Why am I condemned by my students who did not even do their part right?
What broke my heart was at the end of the lesson, one of my mentees flung the bag on her shoulders and stomped out of the class right in front of me angrily. She was one of those who was asked to stand because she did not complete her work. Why should she be angry with me when she did not do her work?
At the end of the day, it was the students who were not in my class who asked if I was alright instead and the students involved did not even utter a word to me.
No doubt my lessons are not the most interesting all the time but at least I can answer to myself that I have taken time to source for teaching materials and prepare notes when necessary. There is no reason why I should not be upset when my students do not complete their work. As a student, can you answer to yourself and say that you have tried your best as a student?
It used to be one of my favourite classes because I would be so relaxed and happy during class, knowing that most of them would listen attentively. I viewed them as highly motivated students who had self discipline and I had such an enjoyable time teaching them.
Things slowly changed.
I am disappointed and angry.
I am disappointed because it is without a doubt that some of the students did not do the work given and that was despite the fact that I had reminded them I would be going through with them during that lesson. Some of them were chatting among themselves although they were already being punished.
I am angry because so many of them still think that it is my fault that I gave marching orders to those who are not interested in my lessons and there is no reason why I should be so angry. If they think that I was being unfair and unreasonable then who will be fair and reasonable to me? Have they ever thought of the times I still marked their assignments even though they handed so late? Have I ever issued cards to them because they failed to hand in their work?
Is it wrong to expect my students to do their work so I can go through with them? Is it then fair to me to be angry with me for something that they had not done right? Why am I condemned by my students who did not even do their part right?
What broke my heart was at the end of the lesson, one of my mentees flung the bag on her shoulders and stomped out of the class right in front of me angrily. She was one of those who was asked to stand because she did not complete her work. Why should she be angry with me when she did not do her work?
At the end of the day, it was the students who were not in my class who asked if I was alright instead and the students involved did not even utter a word to me.
No doubt my lessons are not the most interesting all the time but at least I can answer to myself that I have taken time to source for teaching materials and prepare notes when necessary. There is no reason why I should not be upset when my students do not complete their work. As a student, can you answer to yourself and say that you have tried your best as a student?
I think I have failed as a teacher and mentor because I have failed to even teach my students what respect and humility are. If they know what these two values truly represent, I would not be treated in this manner.
posted by sunshineliv @ 1:00 pm
4 Comments:
At 12:22 pm,
yan ling said…
mrs teo,
i think i know how u feel cus i too don't really like the behavior of either classes you are teaching.. they may be funny at times but many a times rude.. altough i do not enjoy thier company in class very much but i still very much appreciate your teaching.. do not be upset over things you cannot really change.. you should let be them be rebellious.. so long as 1 or two students shine in your class it is already a great achievement.. :) cheer up..
yan ling
At 10:29 pm,
jshy said…
hi mrs teo,
i'm not a student of yours and in fact i don't know you at all. i just happent o come upon your blog and read about it and i kind of understnad how you feel. it is really rude of that girl to stomp off just like that showing no respect for you (the teacher) and it is not your fault as you are just doing your job as a teacher.
i am a student from a class with very rebellious boys, they too treats our teacher with no respect and it is maybe about 10-20 times worse then your students. not many teachers or should i say all my our teachers can tolerate their behaviour. although i can't say much as i don't know your students or i don't know you at all. all i can say is you have done your part for teaching them and it is their lost losing you as a teacher and not understanding you better.
cheer up,
jilyn :)
At 3:06 pm,
Jaclyn said…
hey mrs teo,
i know you are traumatized by this incident. its not your fault. maybe the person jus needed some time to change the way she think and act. i hope you are alright now. yan ling is right. you jus need 1 or 2 students to shine and its already a great achievement. jus like in bowling, there are always only the top 3 bowlers. and there's always onli one winner. its lik when only one bowler shine, it doesnt matter the amount of bowlers that shine, it jus shows that the coach is capable. it also applies to you. when 1 or 2 of your students shine, it shows that you are capable of teaching. you have done your part as a teacher and a mentor. if others doesn't appreciate it, you cant do anything.
okaye, remember to cheer up.
you are a great teacher and a great mentor.
jaclyn:)
At 11:27 am,
z said…
hello mrs teo.
err. i think that you are not strict with your classes and thats why they treat you in such a despicable manner. err. thats my personal opinion as my english teacher, Ms Lee, she is a very strict teacher. she loves giving white cards over small thigs such as late for class or homework or even when you dont bring your textbook. im sure you dont like giving your students white card but its a way of disciplining them. i hope that you will continue to be our mentor. you have helped me a lot. thank you. for everything that you have done.
your mentee,
azri
Post a Comment
<< Home